Photo: via hanley on Streamable (Photo: Lucasfilm) Photo: Paramount Pictures Photo: Paramount Pictures Michael Bay’s Transformers series now stretches to five films (some of them fun, some lugubrious) and almost 13 hours of screen time, yet so many questions remain unanswered. Like, how many of these toyetic alien motoroids are there? How big are they when they aren’t disguised as cars, trucks, planes, etc.? And how is it that, despite being based on a variety of gross human stereotypes, they’re so damn hard to tell apart? Popular wisdom says that the Transformers movies are indifferent to human characters, but it’s not like they give a crap about the jabbering, clanking robots either; at best, they’re cannon fodder for the weightless splendors of pyrotechnics and slow-motion twisted wreckage that are the likely reason why Bay keeps making these things. Because while the decade-long run of Transformers seems to have exhausted Bay’s love of fast, sleek cars (barely featured in this latest film, The Last Knight ), his passion for dismembering geared, greeble-crusted robo-chasses amid fireballs and tumbling chunks of concrete remains unabated. The plot he could not care less about. That’s almost regrettable, as Transformers: The Last Knight concocts the […]

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