Pho­to: via han­ley on Stream­able (Pho­to: Lucas­film) Pho­to: Para­mount Pic­tures Pho­to: Para­mount Pic­tures Michael Bay’s Trans­form­ers series now stretch­es to five films (some of them fun, some lugubri­ous) and almost 13 hours of screen time, yet so many ques­tions remain unan­swered. Like, how many of these toyet­ic alien motoroids are there? How big are they when they aren’t dis­guised as cars, trucks, planes, etc.? And how is it that, despite being based on a vari­ety of gross human stereo­types, they’re so damn hard to tell apart? Pop­u­lar wis­dom says that the Trans­form­ers movies are indif­fer­ent to human char­ac­ters, but it’s not like they give a crap about the jab­ber­ing, clank­ing robots either; at best, they’re can­non fod­der for the weight­less splen­dors of pyrotech­nics and slow-motion twist­ed wreck­age that are the like­ly rea­son why Bay keeps mak­ing these things. Because while the decade-long run of Trans­form­ers seems to have exhaust­ed Bay’s love of fast, sleek cars (bare­ly fea­tured in this lat­est film, The Last Knight ), his pas­sion for dis­mem­ber­ing geared, gree­ble-crust­ed robo-chas­s­es amid fire­balls and tum­bling chunks of con­crete remains unabat­ed. The plot he could not care less about. That’s almost regret­table, as Trans­form­ers: The Last Knight con­cocts the […]